strad

                               

                               
                                     
                                   
                                      

I have just gotten back from straddie. Probably one of the most memorable yet messiest weeks of my life.  I stayed with three girls that i love so much and had the best fun. Laying on the beach all day was amazing, the water was crystal clear and the sun was out evvvery day. wah so good. Then going out every night was even better! Met some beautiful new friends and formed even stronger bonds with the ones i have. Em is still there atm. was a little overrated but was a good experience i guess. definately keen for next year...

j. xo

its life

 

 Finally realised that being depressed and upset and dwelling on my past is only going to make things a whole lot worse. Life is not the greatest but as em taught me you got to focus on the happy things going on and make the rest a blur. I have to forget about all the whores and pity them cause they will get nowhere in their life. Slutting around isnt going to make you friends, not for the long run anyways. I have to wipe out all the dickheads and start talking to nice boys that actually care and i have to just smile once and a while and notice how much i take my life for granted. I have it pretty god damn good compared to many people in the world, it is almost embarrassing complaining about the little things i do.

j. xo

rich and famous

Lately my mind has been overloaded with school work, plans for the future, uni options etc. I cannot explain enough how freaked out i am getting, I've only just realised how hard you have to work in order to succeed. Everyone around me seems to have their life plans sorted and it's scaring me. School will be over in the blink of an eye, schoolies will come and go (hopefully smoothly), and then its time for the new year, moving out to the big bad world on my own.

I'm honestly so scared

e. xo

a happy post

I'm in a beautiful mood right now, and this blog is quite depressing at the moment, so i thought i'd put a bit of happiness into it.
Enjoy the little things
e. xo

i ruin everything

this is so relevant to my life. I actually have come to the conclusion i cant do anything right any more, i fuck every little detail of my life up completely. Whether it be boys (major one), friends and even family i always seem to say something wrong. This then gets blown way  out of proportion and decides to take over my life. It sucks so much. Why cant i get it right. Why am i so stupid. wah

j.

so lonely

Right now I am going through the weirdest phase. I'm always the one to brag about being single and how amazing it feels but right now all i feel is plain empty. I want someone, i really do. I feel lonely and un-wanted and im sick of it. Bye single life, hi boyfriend hunting.

j. xo 

bliss

Words cannot even describe.
It is beautiful and makes me happy in an instant
It's crazy what a smile can do

e. xo

skinny

we will both be twigs soon. 

j. xo 

The Big Bad Jealousy Bug

"Jealousy is all the fun you think they had"
And i could not have said it any better myself. The Jealousy Bug is something i suffer from on a day to day basis, but most common than not over the same handful of people. Im not jealous of their "hot faces, bangin' bodies and deece racks" its something that gets to me on a whole different level, something i'm very protective of. It really is the worst feeling, something i don't think i can ever erase, not over him at least.

But in the end, look who came out on top

e. xo

princess sooky

 

 

Not being wanted back is a shit feeling. I never really experienced it till a few weeks back and i can tell you now i don't ever want to be in the situation again. I had this "friends with benefits" thing going on with a boy. Everything was great and at this stage no feelings had developed at all. We took the cliché rules from "No strings attached" and made the agreement that a) we couldn't start liking one another and b) no jealousy, at the time I thought it would be very very easy. He was an attractive boy (obviously otherwise i wouldn't have initiated anything) but i never saw him any other way. This is all turned bad when my best friend at the time decided she would get with him at a party. This was the time when it hit me i had definitely and regrettably developed something towards him. In an upset rage i thought it would be a great idea to tell him everything and somewhere in my clueless brain i thought it might, just might, end like a perfect Hollywood movie with him admitting his feelings towards me and everything ending great. Of course i was hit with reality when he re stated he wasn't looking for a girlfriend and that in as nice a way possible didn't like me. The weeks after this i became a horrible mess and ended most of my night outs in tears. I only want what i can't have. Stupid really. It is all fine now though, don't even really think about him. I mean why should you waste all your time over someone not worth it when there a zillion other guys out there. I can happily and confidently say, I have moved on :)

j. xo

start of something new

Yesterday sparked the beginning of something that will hopefully continue for a long time. As Juge and i are both ridiculously emotional, dramatic and hopeful this will work as a little getaway from reality as we see it.

enjoy
e. xo